Crazy Person John Cusack Blocked Me On Twitter, Swoon!

I'll miss you, John.

I’ll miss you, John. Kidding. Crazy is easy to replace.

Anyone worth knowing is already well aware that John Cusack is the actor who starred in High Fidelity, Being John Malkovich, Grosse Pointe Blanke, and I guess Say Anything—despite the fact that the movie sucked and was forever immortalized in pop culture thanks to a single stupid scene—the only movies in his entire career in which he could pass for a leading man.

Although, if you’ve seen any of those movies, you know that I’m using the term “leading man” very loosely. Cusack is in his mid 40s and wouldn’t even be considered in the same class as peers such as Johnny Depp, Matt Damon, Brad Pitt, Robert Downey Jr., Ben Affleck, Christian Bale, or even Edward Norton. And it’s not just about looks, as often is the case with actresses of the same age.

He's been coasting on High Fidelity cred forever and we all know Jack Black stole every scene.

He’s been coasting on High Fidelity cred forever but we all know Jack Black stole every scene.

He wasn’t too bad in Hot Tub Time Machine either, but it was an ensemble cast in which he stood out far less than the rest and was even outshined by (the albeit admittedly epic) Crispin Glover, who had a relatively bit part that centered around nothing more than when, where, and by what means he would ultimately meet the fate that would result in his arm being amputated.

Actually, now that I’ve read that, perhaps I was too drunk when I watched Hot Tub Time Machine, because it doesn’t sound as “not bad” as I remembered it being in my head. But parts of it were definitely funny—the parts that starred Rob Corddry, Craig Robinson, and Collette Wolfe. The parts that starred Cusack were typically unpleasant and the least entertaining of the film.

It would be hilarious if they made a Hot Tub Time Machine 2 and didn't have him back.

It would be hilarious if they made a Hot Tub Time Machine 2
and didn’t even tell him about it.

Whatever, I’m getting off course.

The point that I was trying to make was that I’ve seen a large number or John Cusack’s movies and, despite the fact that he plays the same unlikable character in need of a shower and a shave in the middle of an existential crisis in his “best” movies, I always considered him to be one of my favorite actors. I think that’s based on High Fidelity alone—one of my all time, Top 5, favorite movies about music. Maybe even a Top 10 favorite movie about anything, ever.

What really matters is what you like, not what you are like…Books, records, films—these things matter. Call me shallow but it’s the fuckin’ truth.

Which makes the fact that he recently went to the trouble of blocking me on Twitter a very special occasion. I have a number of celebrity Twitter followers, mostly, if not entirely, in the sports world. Not that Cusack was ever following me to begin with, but having a moderately big-time Hollywood star being so bothered by you that he goes out of his way to make a public occasion of him blocking you? Well, it’s awesome.

Cusack blocked me because we have a very fundamental personality difference. He is a crazy ass mother fucker and I am a regular person who enjoys needling him via Twitter. He’s the son of an actor and documentary filmmaker and the brother of four actor siblings. Cusack wanted for nothing growing up and was given the inside track into the career of his choice thanks to his family connections.

I’m the bastard child of biology teacher who doesn’t believe in evolution and a dead Vietnam veteran whose only contribution to the world, aside from his war service, was the trail of illegitimate children he left throughout his life before he died of generalized liver failure from alcoholism that began as a result of his military service. Nobody has ever given me anything…ever.  So we don’t have a lot in common, obviously.

Maybe I thought he'd follow or unfloow me randomly and then check out my personnel file in HR.

Maybe I thought he’d follow or unfloow me randomly…
and then check out my *personnel* file down in HR.

Honestly, I’m not even sure why I was following Cusack to begin with. I suspect it stemmed from a very late night drunken viewing of High Fidelity, which made me think that we were meant to be best friends or even soul mates. Probably not soul mates though, because I listen to rap and hip hop, and he listened to teenage gutter punks that stole from him.

Whatever the reason I decided to follow the self-described “Apocalyptic shit disturber and elephant trainer” may remain a mystery, but the fact that he’s a stone cold lunatic is long since established fact thanks to the Twitters. Like many actors, Cusack is overpaid with a lot of downtime, which gives him a lot of time to hash out conspiracy theories within a dimly lit closet inside his Hollywood mansion’s…basement.

He definitely spends some of his time drinking.

He definitely spends some of his time drinking.

Perhaps *a lot* of time drinking.

Perhaps *a lot* of time drinking.

Until recently, I had no idea that he was “FOR A SATANIC DEATH CULT CENTER AT FOX NEWS HQ AND OUTSIDE THE OFFICERS [OF DICK] ARMEY AND NEWT GINGRICH-and all the GOP WELFARE FREAKS.” Apparently Fox News was outraged, which is hilarious because I have no clue what he was talking about.

To me it doesn’t seem like he was threatening them with a Satanic cult death, but rather ranting like a crazy person who has been out of touch with reality dating back to the days before cable news even existed. But you know how prone to outrage Fox News is—it’s like Oxygen to them.

All that was in September 2010. This was in June 2013:

If gov and *WHO* can't keep us safe? The aliens?

If gov and *WHO* can’t keep us safe? The aliens?

As was this:

He must have learned English from a teenager via text.

He must have learned English from a teenager via text.

Apparently he isn’t just a GOP hating liberal with an axe to grind anymore. Cusack is a certified conspiracy theorist whose mistrust and disdain of the government is only eclipsed by his menial grasp of the English language. Is it any wonder he’s been considering playing Rush Limbaugh in his biopic?

The fit is absolute perfection. An outlandish ideologue peddling fear to his own devoted masses.

The only difference is that I’d give Limbaugh more credit for, at the very least, knowing what side of the aisle he comes down on. Fox News is a Satanic death cult of some sort, but President Barack Obama is “just another Ivy League asshole.” Obama might be an “Ivy League asshole,” but at least he wasn’t a college dropout like Cusack and Limbaugh.

So am I surprised that Cusack is a college dropout? No. His tweets suggest that he’s either borderline mentally challenged or a pretty serious alcoholic. Which is exactly why I followed him to begin with—he’s a loose cannon. The same reason I follow Amanda Bynes. Only she’s a loose cannon in a more entertaining way, surprisingly.

Her trip off the deep end has been a lot more fun than Cusack's.

Her trip off the deep end has been a lot more fun than Cusack’s.

Cusack is a loose cannon in a hyper-political crazy sense. Kind of like a less creative, more combative, and potentially illiterate version of Oliver Stone—who can’t take criticism of his own bad movies anymore.

See what I said about being crazy and illiterate and probably drunk?

See what I said about being crazy and illiterate and probably drunk?

The fun thing about following celebrities on Twitter is that you can sometimes actively engage with them in real time, in a way that you’d never have the opportunity to do otherwise. Most celebrities don’t respond back all that much, but you’re far more likely to hear back from the crazy ones—like John Cusack. Needle a water balloon long enough and eventually the whole damn thing will burst.

So recently I needled him. It was just too tempting not to. He’s been in full-on meltdown mode on Twitter, in between fortifying his living space with tin foil, and I’ve been a little bored, frankly. My tweets were actually relatively innocuous, especially considering I have a bit of an acid tongue. The first one just suggested that he “like” chill out.

me-procI thought it was good advice because he was freaking out. And the reference to what was “good” was in response to another follower suggesting Cusack has lifelong immunity on…whatever… because High Fidelity was good.  Apparently he was in…like…no mood to chill out. Which I should have seen coming because crazy people are rarely in the mood to chill out.

It was just minutes later that I crossed a line that could not be uncrossed. I suggested he step away from the Twitter machine, perhaps seek professional help, and, at the very least, try to find a decent movie to do. Ya know, because everything he’s done since playing “Rob Gordon” has been an abject plague on cinema—if not humanity. That’s when I got the block.

I'll miss you, John.

Wait. Why did he call me lazy?

I actually didn’t even realize it initially because it was so late and eventually I went to bed. Though it was quite the pleasant surprise when I checked Twitter the next day. A few of my followers gleefully pointed out the fact that I had been blocked by John Cusack, instantly infecting me with their joy. I instantly thought: “Wow, I wormed my way into the mind of a movie star and he was so impacted by my presence, that he felt the need to make a big show about blocking me! Pretty cool.”

I felt a little sad for him, but what was so much sadder was the five or six of his followers that talked him up for taking such a brave action. What do these people who do nothing but tweet stuff like “OMG I LOVE YOU, UR SO AWESOME ‘N THAT GURL WAS A SLUT” at celebrities really thing it’s going to get them? What they really want attention, and they almost never get it, but still they press on.

And look at me! I got plenty of attention and all I had to do was offer some solid career advice.

So who's killing who here?

So who’s killing who here?

Unfortunately, John Cusack isn’t looking for any career advice these days. He’ll keep making movie monstrosities to pay the bills, but he’s got far too much on his plate to waste time being discriminate or reading scripts. After all, the government, hackers, insulin pumps, pacemakers, and (maybe?) Canadians are all trying to kill him—or us.

That situation sounds dire. Thankfully we’ve got Cusack on the case—there’s nothing he can’t solve by holding up a boombox that’s blasting just the right song.

He probably won't be taking any requests from me though.

He probably won’t be taking any requests from me though.

Comments

  1. Do I Smell Fish? says:

    You’re a fucking leech.

    • Don’t forget moron. In one sentence she more or less says all of his movies suck and the next she lists High Fidelity as one of her favorite movies of all time. She put his entire career down because she took personal offense to being blocked on twitter. What the world needs is another person blogging about the Kardashians. She’s a real contributor to society all right. She did correct John’s spelling on twitter though, I guess that counts for something???

      Please take down that photo of Pittsburgh in the background Amber, this city doesn’t want to be associated with you.

      • the real cunt! says:

        Even the posts she puts up of his? The ones with multiple misspellings? Those are over a span of 2 weeks because they are few and far between. Poor girl – I guess at some point any attention is good attention.

  2. Meanwhile, you’re some loser who uses their horrible writing career as a crutch for being a failed screenplay writer, and he’s making awesome movies. John Cusack – 1, Batshit Crazy Chick Who Can’t Appreciate Cinema – 0

  3. You’re an idiot. He is extremely intelligent. He is re-posting what others have posted on his wall for discussion… and if you’ve never had a typo in your text, you deserve a fucking gold metal because you’re a god among peasants. Notice where it says @johncusack in the beginning of most of the posts. You have too much time on your hands… obviously. I’ve wasted my time reading your article. I think you jerk off to him and this is your denial rant. Fill your time with something else because jealously isn’t very becoming.

  4. monkeyboy says:

    You have a very sexy mental illness

  5. Seriously, He is a super intelligent individual. I’m sorry but just based on what you wrote here you are a moron.

  6. writer of this is a fucking moron & should kill them selves to have one less fucktard breathing air

  7. If you truly knew about John Cusack, you’d know how intelligent he is and how little time he has for girls like you who think because they’re so attractive, they can get anything and once someone blocks them, it’s tossed off as Awesome when really you’re pissed off. Oh, and he deliberately misspells words in his tweets. Just though I’d let’cha in on that little secret. For someone who doesn’t give a crap about what John Cusack thinks you sure wrote a rather lengthy diatribe about him. Hey, but what do I know?? He re-tweeted three…yes THREE of my tweets, so I guess I’m just as crazy as he is. Go bother someone else. John Cusack blocks you…too bad others don’t do the same.

  8. Name Required says:

    Wow, looks as though Mr. Cusack’s sycophants have sought you out. To be honest, don’t feel that YOU are the one who is Batshit Crazy as Mr. FY states in the above comment. Follow Cusack’s tweets via FB and gotta say, 95% of the time, they make absolutely no sense.
    Thanks for showing me it isn’t just me.

    • Haha. I figured they would. It’s kind of what I wanted anyway…it’s been hilarious and rocked the stats for my blog. If you actually Google something like “john cusack blocked me on twitter,” which I did a few minutes ago, you’ll see this kind of stuff happens to him all the time. He’s definitely mentally unhinged.

  9. the real cunt! says:

    “Needle a water balloon long enough and eventually the whole damn thing will burst.”

    So he was right, you are a troll. You admit it right there. It kind of means you have no life. You have a total of 24 followers on Twitter and by looking at my own followers, I’m sure that over half of those are advertisers.

    You should try taking your own advice – seek therapy. I guess being a cunt is the only way you could get attention from a celebrity, but I think that’s just as pathetic as those that spend all their time on twitter kissing their asses – both of you are just looking for attention. Sorry your parents ignored you, but this won’t change that.

  10. Nettle Swine says:

    I enjoyed your voice and found that to be a very enjoyable read, but I have a couple comments. The first is that your motive behind “needling” him wasn’t to relieve him of his supposed “disinformation” but rather to purposefully cause him discomfort at your pleasure; see: schadenfreude. That kind of sounds like you’re being a dick. The second is that the government has gone so far off the deep end with their militarization and regulation it should be obvious to someone of your writing skill level, and it seems like you. The forced commandeering of communication lines for the mass collection of data, the impending collapse of the Federal Reserve and the dollar, the massive debt accrued over the years through war after war, the violence, terror and death of all those people, etc. Irregardless of your stance on government as a whole, it seems quite evident that the current “US government” is an overwhelmingly awful entity.

    • Fantastic. END THE FED!

    • Hey. I appreciate the compliment and I’m sorry you’re so displeased with the government. It seems frustrating. It’s clearly frustrating John Cusack…I hope you get what you’re looking for :)

    • “Irregardless” is not a word; “regardless” is.

      Grosse Pointe Blank is one of my all-time favourite movies and I also thought John Cusack was excellent in Eight Men Out. One of the true Gen-X acting icons. He’s also bat-shit crazy, at least as far as anything remotely political is concerned, which is why I follow him.

      Entertaining as always, Amber!

  11. WOW. All I can say is…it’s not difficult to block someone from their twitter, just requires a click…so i’m pretty sure it was no trouble in inconvenience for him in any way. having just read your ridiculous rant about getting blocked by a person you don’t even know, it seems to me it would have been more of an inconvenience to keep being subjected to your drama queen and seemingly ignorant personality. you sad sad little human, what a waste of time you spent here yelling about something so utterly unimportant.

    and now that i think about it, what a sad waste of MY time for having read it…damn…now I’M mad! wow, you’re a real douche.

  12. Tbh, I love John Cusack as an actor as much as the next fan but this is her opinion I think it’s a bit messed up and warped to tell her to kill herself and call her a moron! Give her a break! She probably feel scorned or some thing so is letting off steam or maybe she has been feeling this for a whole and now has a reason to write it, either way, let her have her opinion and say and if you don’t like it! Write it on his Facebook/twitter post about it, not her page! Jeepers!!

  13. RosaLoca says:

    seriously, I have NO IDEA wtf he’s talking about 99.9% of the time. I assumed talking out his ass was part of his schtick. now I’m pretty sure he’s freakin crazy. He blocks you for saying something he didn’t like? So he can’t handle criticizm. You aren’t the first to bash his body of work. Sack up people, everyone has a right to their opinion.

  14. Wow…I just couldn’t understand why you would talk so much shit and then say that he is one of your favorite actors! Just stop..now.

  15. Ledouxlaw says:

    He is a lunatic. I really don’t care what your motivation for the blog is. It is funny and right on point. His responses and rant against you just further proves every point you made. Good job.

    • Thanks! My motivation for writing the blog was basically just that I think he’s crazy, he’s fun to harass, and I figured it’d rankle him and his followers. I thought it’d be fun…and it has been :)

  16. I could say a lot of things about your article, but ” I think you´re crazy or maybe just trying to call the atention” resumes it all.

  17. I follow him too. I adore my idea of him, which is the sweet Lane Myer from Better Off Dead. It is his best movie. check it out if you haven’t. I spent my entire teenage life dreaming of marrying him.

    • I was more of an Emilio Estevez girl…I actually haven’t seen Better Off Dead—perhaps I WILL watch it if I ever see it on at some point. I’ll remember all my personal communication with the star fondly too :) Thanks for reading!

  18. Reading 300 word, often profane, comments defending John Cusack—by people who don’t know John Cusack—which nonetheless deride Amber for needling celebrity she doesn’t know…is more post-modern than I can handle.

  19. You guys are awesome. Thanks for reading. My stats went through the roof and your hilariously pathetic, yet heartfelt defense of an actor who could give a shit about your existence on earth made me laugh. A lot.

  20. I don’t know why, but this whole exchange tickles and is plenty amusing. Cusack was adorable in Say Anything. Ditto the Woody Allen movie and the one that had a Psycho motif/vibe to it — in the venue of a motel. Time and probably some good PhD dissertation will tell us if all this twitter palaver call and response is just that or it reveals who we in all of a our idiosyncratic weird collective verbose ways. But some of you are trenchant others profane and still others borderline illiterate but hey that’s America and that’s what makes horse racing. And dang isn’t autocorrect a bitch? Peace.

  21. This article/post is absolutely absurd. You talk a lot about what he has contributed to the Film industry, and his failings but you seem to not have put much into Society yourself. Talking about being drunk is not a nice quality. If you knew anything about the Film industry (besides the glitz and glam) then you would know what kind of world it really is.

    Vices are many, and truths are no where to be found when it comes to Hollywood. If Cusack does drink in excess, then that is his problem, and definitely not anyone elses. It is far less worse then the many other Vices celebs dabble with.

    Cusack is one of the very many that made it in Hollywood after his teenage years. Why not ask him how he did that? How he didn’t get sucked into the machine and spit out like a dog with rabies?

  22. You are hilarious! Not in a good way, but you made me laugh my ass off. I wish I hated my “soul-mate” that much!

  23. I am jealous! What an honor to have a celebrity take time to block you! I follow him only because he is John Cusack. I have no idea what he says half the time. If only I could make that sort of impact on his life!

  24. I don’t even know how I ended up here… isn’t twitter grand? We find out so much more about celebrities idiosyncrasies than we EVER wanted to.

  25. You are amazing, I have never read such a pile of rubbish as this, you set out to troll someone who is well known for randomly blocking people, all so you could blog about it and make your sad life better. If anyone is pathetic it’s you, if a persons tweets bother you so much you unfollow, simple really. I follow him on Twitter and half the time I don’t know what the hell he is on about, but now and then he throws a gem in to make you laugh. I do hope calling him mentally unstable and an alcoholic is not going to come back and bite you on the ass.

  26. You are an idiot I would block your crazy ass too. John is an intelligent informed American you are obviously not! He is also an amazing and talented actor who has been in over 60 movies in his 30 year career. I am sure heis far more successful than you will ever be. I think you have proved you are the crazy person by insulting him just cause he blocked you !!!!

  27. Mike B. says:

    Not sure I understand why he called you “lazy”.

  28. I love you Amber! This was some of your best work ever! hahaha

  29. jeromedowney says:

    It was an entertaining read. :)
    Ps.
    I also enjoyed the haters replies to post, hope you laughed as much as I did.

  30. She is trashing John Cusack’s name to promote her blog. Calling him Crazy and what not. He is successful. She (so far) is not. And this is the ONLY reason she chose to blog about her insignificant encounter with him. What she tweeted was quite rude. She deserved to be blocked, although I am surprised that he would bother. To act surprised about it is ridiculous. The only surprise is that he would actually bother with you. He did you a favor if you ask me. He gave you material. The fact that people are now calling her a cunt and telling her to kill herself is just a little worse than what she said to him. Just her getting a little taste of her own medicine.
    Do I agree with his tweets? No. I was surprised to see him buying in to all of the hype but he is entitled to his opinion.
    This is a drama queen looking for attention. That part is ok, but you should have something to say once you get some of it off your “piggy backing” technique.

  31. John Cusack, his views have changed since he started his political activism, I’m not really sure what he stands for or believes in. To be honest its a little confusing.
    My view is: Respect the Soldier change the government. It doesn’t matter if you are republican, democrat, liberal, right, left or in the middle or Mickey Mouse; Our government is corrupt and the American citizens need to stand up and remember “We the people” instead of “you the government”. Where is accountability and responsibility.

    Life is not easy and we’re often left feeling marginalized but I wish to address a couple of your statements.

    ["I’m the bastard child of biology teacher who doesn’t believe in evolution and a dead Vietnam veteran whose only contribution to the world, aside from his war service"]

    I’m curious about your definition or perception of evolution to which you are referring …
    I’m sorry your father hurt you and that you feel no one has ever given you anything, but they have. It is the soldier, not the reporter, who has given us the freedom of speech, of the press and has given you many things you may or may not be aware of. So, while technically soldiers do not “give” us those freedoms, they do guarantee them. It’s sad that some types of people just will never “get it,” at least not until it’s too late.
    As you appear to be aware, war does something unimaginable to you. Being a Vietnam veteran was the worse because of the way they were treated when they came home. They didn’t have a choice to go they were made to go. It’s only now that anything is being recognized of what it does to them and how they are destroyed for life. I am one that is trying to help make a difference for the soldiers because to me they are very dear to my heart. I’m not saying what your father did was right but I ask you to seek therapy to forgive. Not for him, for you. Your statement is filled with anger, resentment and pain.
    The picture is much bigger than you think. Then again it could have been a character flaw your father had in which case please judge the man not the occupation.
    My son died “in theatre” in Afghanistan so I am very touchy when it comes to seeing things posted about soldiers and or politics. My son died for politics, Operation Enduring Freedom. Our government treats our soldiers horribly. One therapist told me that the suicidal rate for soldiers is up to 22 a day. It is our government that needs to be held responsible. Most of these young men and women are like your father with PTSD and TBI. That is only the beginning of the problems with our government.

    ["What really matters is what you like, not what you are like…Books, records, films—these things matter. Call me shallow but it’s the fuckin’ truth.". ]
    Are you being sarcastic or is this what you believe?
    Books, yes. Records? If you’re talking about music, yes. These are important for learning and distressing.
    But films? No. We can do without the over inflated egos of some of those that are in the entertainment field.

  32. This has been entertaining as shit. As an x-gen male with no siblings I identified tremendously with John Cusack at a young age and have always enjoyed him and his delivery as an actor. As a matter of fact he is my single favorite movie star, especially given his ability to interact with others and expose his own faults to all of us folks. His ‘zero fucks’ attitude you spend many words in berating is exactly what you’re exhibiting yourself. I love it.

    So while as a fan I disagree with you Amber about some of the more personal attacks on Cusack(true or not isn’t relevant) as I think a few of them are a bit blown out of proportion hopefully for effect or based on emotional outburst…as an internet marketer (hat tip and bow), I have to take my hat off to ya. Very well done. This is a better than good example of how to create content that is right from the heart that also catalyses the visitors. You’re a badass in that regard. Your smarm and attitude carried the long-ish read very well as we all love to see who’s brave enough to talk shit on our beloved archetypes. This way we can either talk a little shit ourselves in defense of our psuedo-heros or congratulate them(you) on successfully lambasting them. Whether we admit it or not to ourselves.

    On a truly rare occasion like this I get to do both. First time I’ve sub’d to the rss of someone I completely disagree with. Howard Stern would be proud.

    ps; respect for actually leaving the comment shitstorm public, I know it likely serves you but most would allow their ego to eclipse their desire for better serp results.

  33. lol! x

  34. What a lot of people don’t realise is that he has been subtweeting most of his tweets now for nearly 4 years ! ie he’s really speaking to somebody else. Go work that one out…..

  35. So don’t take it too personal because he’s NOT really talking to you. That is why he seems to be “acting” like a lunatic sometime. He’s actually taking his angst or whatever out on another person by replying to certain appropriate tweets in which he can get HIS message across. ;)
    And yes he does purposedly misspell words. ‘Suck a lust’ has to be the best one yet don’t you think?

  36. I do understand how this can hurt fans when it seems unnecessary and blown up out of all proportion. For fuck’s sake, I would be upset too if he talked to me that way. Erm, hold on a sec…..

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